Love Is Never Gone
by ChanMon04
Summary: AJ&Keesha story. What happens when AJ discovers he fathered a daughter, who is now a teen-ager, with Keesha? **Chapters 4-7 added**
1. Default Chapter

Hi! :-) An idea came to me for an AJ & Keesha story. I'm posting Chapter 1 here. I don't know if there are any AJ & Keesha fans around, LOL, but it seems like there's a shortage of AJ on GH (although I'm not watching it anymore but I read about it at various sites), so I thought I'd try a fan fic story. :-)  
  
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LOVE IS NEVER GONE  
  
The Year: 2014  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A. J. Quartermaine released a deep breath and rubbed his sweaty palms together as he observed the modest, two-story house on the corner of Arch and Spruce Streets in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He tried to tell himself the humidity of the hot summer day was causing him to perspire, but he knew better. He'd had a feeling of unease and restlessness since receiving her letter.  
  
Now, staring at the light blue house with a dark blue trim, a well-kept lawn and a hedge that seemed to divide the property line, he wondered if he'd made the right choice. He questioned, for what seemed like the hundredth time, whether or not he'd read her letter correctly. She did want him to visit, didn't she?  
  
Before mounting the four concrete steps which would lead him to her door, he pulled the envelope from his jacket pocket and read the address on the return label one more time to make sure he had the right house: 2501 Arch Street. He had the right address. But did he have the right to show up so unexpectedly?  
  
He pulled the letter from the envelope, read her handwritten words one more time, and told himself she was expecting him. True, he hadn't called her first, but that was because she had not provided a phone number, only an address. He could have called information to find out if she was listed, but he took her not providing a phone number to mean she wanted to see him. Bolstered once more by his own deductive reasoning, faulty though it may be, he returned the letter to its envelope and the envelope to his pocket, released one more deep breath, and then, before any more doubts could assail his already overworked and overwrought mind, he rang the doorbell. Anxiety and a sense of dread filled every ounce of his body, but somewhere, deep down, he knew excitement waited to make itself known. If only the letter he possessed meant what he thought, no make that hoped, it might.  
  
At least fifty different greetings swam through his mind as he waited for someone, anyone, to arrive. When the door, painted the same light blue as the rest of the outside of the house, was finally pulled back, all thought left his brain. His mouth turned to cotton. He could utter no sound.  
  
"Yes?" an attractive young female, with flawless skin the color of caramel, asked. "May I help you?"  
  
A.J. did not recognize the face or the voice, but he would know those eyes anywhere. They mirrored his own. Was it possible? Could it be? Was this the reason she had written him a letter?  
  
The teen-ager, who looked to be about sixteen, waited for her guest to identify himself.  
  
"May I help you?" she asked, starting to sound bored, when no words were forthcoming from A.J.  
  
"I-I'm sorry. I-I'm here to see Keesha Ward. Is she available?"  
  
"May I tell her who you are?"  
  
"Yes. Please do. My name is A.J. Quarter-"  
  
A.J. had no sooner started to say his last name than the door was fiercely slammed shut in his stunned face. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
"Julianna," said a weak female voice from a room near the back of the house that had been converted into a bedroom, "who was at the door?"  
  
"Just a neighbor asking how you were feeling," Julianna said, unwilling to tell her mother the truth.  
  
She approached Keesha's bedroom and stepped inside.  
  
"I said you were resting."  
  
Keesha nodded. Julianna crossed to her mother's bed and fluffed her pillows.  
  
"Are you comfortable, Mama? Can I get you anything?"  
  
"I'm fine," she assured her anxious daughter. "If you want to go out with your friends, go ahead. I want you to enjoy your summer. I'm going to read for a little bit, and then I'm going to rest."  
  
"I'm not going to leave you. I'll be upstairs in my room. If you need anything, let me know. My door will be open, so I can hear you."  
  
"That's fine. I have everything I need."  
  
If that were true, Julianna thought as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom, then why did you contact A.J. Quartermaine and tell him to come here?  
  
*~*  
  
Julianna's four-poster bed, covered with a vibrant patchwork quilt Keesha had made for her when she turned thirteen, greeted her as she entered the spacious bedroom. The light pink curtains, which matched what color one could see of the picture-covered walls, danced as a mild breeze cooled the area. Passing her shelves filled with her favorite books and stuffed animals, she reached the padded window seat and lifted the lid to retrieve her favorite pen and her jonquil-covered journal. Her best friend Shelly, knowing that jonquils were her favorite flower, had given her the diary last Christmas. Since her birthday fell so close to Christmas, December 29 to be exact, Shelly had also given her matching stationery as a birthday present. Julianna used the stationery once in a while, but she wrote in her cherished journal every day, sometimes more than once.  
  
With her slender legs crossed, she positioned a cushion pillow behind her back so she could lean against the wall and write. The breeze refreshed her. She opened her journal and with pen in hand, she poured her thoughts onto the waiting pages.  
  
He showed up today, she began. Why did Mama have to contact him? Why now? Why ever?  
  
Julianna ceased writing and took a moment to stare reflectively out the window. It was the first time she'd ever seen his face. At various times, her mother had wanted to show her a picture or two, but Julianna always refused. Keesha never pushed. She knew where her mother kept the photos, but she'd never even wanted so much as to take a peek. And now she had seen him. She knew his face. She'd heard his husky voice. She knew what he looked and sounded like. He would never be just a name to her again. It was as though his face and his voice were burned in her mind. She hated it, but one look at him told her what she'd always known to be true. She had his eyes. Everyone commented on how pretty her thick-lashed hazel eyes were, especially against her darker skin tone. Should she thank him for giving her what a lot of people considered to be her best feature? She laughed bitterly, but she knew she couldn't deny the truth any longer. Today, for the first time, she had seen her father in person. And she couldn't have been ruder.  
  
He is rather handsome, though, she reluctantly acknowledged in her journal. But that doesn't mean he's a good person. He's not. I know he's not. I wish Mama had never contacted him. I know I shouldn't have slammed the door in his face, but I don't want him coming any closer. He's not going to leave us alone, she acknowledged, feeling a mix of sadness and anger. I just know he's going to try again. What am I going to do? How can I keep him away from us?  
  
Julianna had no sooner written the words than the phone rang. She grabbed it on the first ring, afraid it would be him. Thankful her mother hadn't asked for the cordless phone to be brought into her room, Julianna said a hushed "hello".  
  
"May I speak to Keesha Ward, please?"  
  
She recognized the voice. She knew who it was. Without saying another word, she hung up and prayed he wouldn't call again.  
  
*~*  
  
From his hotel room in the center of town, A.J. stared at the phone in dismay. The young girl who had shut the door in his face had just hung up in his ear.  
  
After A.J. had recovered from the door-slamming incident, he'd decided to return to his hotel room at the Hilton. Even though Keesha had not given him her phone number, he took a chance she might be in the directory. He'd found a K&J Ward listed with no address and decided to take a chance. Recognizing the teen-ager's voice, he knew he had the right number. The fact that she slammed the phone down much the same way she had the door confirmed it for him.  
  
Keesha wanted to see him or so A.J. believed. Sitting on the bed in his hotel room, he vowed he would not give up until he'd at least had a chance to talk to her. He had to know if that young lady was indeed his daughter. And if she was, he would not leave Philadelphia until he knew why had he been kept from her for the past fifteen years! 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Keesha waited until her daughter returned downstairs before asking her about the earlier phone call.  
  
"It was the wrong number, Mama," Julianna said, as she handed her mother a glass of water and two pills.  
  
After swallowing her medication, Keesha asked what she had planned for the evening.  
  
"Nothing. I made vegetable soup and a green salad with Jell-O for dessert. I'll bring you a tray, and then I'll eat."  
  
"Julianna," Keesha said, reaching out to hold her daughter's hand, "I don't want you to spend all your time taking care of me. I can walk to the kitchen, and I can eat dinner at the table."  
  
"No. After your last trip to the Emergency Room, Dr. Williams said you have to have absolute bed rest. I don't mind taking care of you."  
  
For a split second, Keesha saw something flash in her daughter's eyes. The look so reminded her of A.J. She also sensed the tension in her daughter as she held her hand. Julianna was hiding something. Keesha always knew when her daughter was in distress.  
  
"Okay," she agreed. "I'll eat my dinner here, provided you join me. Let's not eat alone."  
  
Julianna's sweet smile never failed to make her mother smile, no matter how badly she was feeling.  
  
"I'll bring dinner soon," she promised. "You rest."  
  
"When you come back," Keesha called out because her daughter had already left the room, "bring the cordless phone with you so we can answer it in here. I may even be up for a game of Scrabble."  
  
Julianna pretended not to hear the part about the phone. There was no way she was giving her mother direct access to A.J. Quartermaine, should he dare try to call again.  
  
*~*  
  
As A.J. ate dinner alone in his hotel room with the TV turned on for background noise, he let his mind wander back to May 1998. That was the last time he had seen or spoken to Keesha. They had resumed their romantic relationship and had been together for a few months when an urgent call about her father's failing health had sent her to Philadelphia. They'd promised to keep in touch, but his life got complicated as soon as she left.  
  
Believing he was the biological father of Michael, the son of the late Carly Corinthos, A.J. had done everything in his power to try to find out for sure. He was also reeling from the fact that Carly had drugged him, left him in an alley, and tried to make it seem as though he had started drinking again. Things really became tangled when his brother, Jason Morgan, got involved. Carly claimed Jason was the boy's father. A.J. had been stunned.  
  
When the truth, or what A.J. thought was the truth at the time, finally came out, there wasn't time to think about Keesha. A.J. wanted his son with him. He and Carly tried marriage, but as with most everything in his life back then, it ended in disaster.  
  
While A.J. continued to struggle with his very real problem of alcoholism, his ex-wife had taken up with the resident mobster, Sonny Corinthos. Sonny blackmailed A.J. into giving up total custody of his child. He spent the next few years hell bent on revenge, which ended up costing him dearly and making his life more miserable than it already was. Again, Keesha did not enter his mind.  
  
Thinking he had found the ultimate revenge on his nemesis, A.J. became romantically involved with Sonny's half-sister, Courtney Mathews-Morgan. Somewhere along the line, he actually developed deep feelings for the young blonde, but once again, his brother Jason, who could do no wrong in his family's eyes, ended up with his ex-wife.  
  
The next few years saw A.J. trying to come to grips with what had become of his life. He'd finally made strides by getting the help he knew he needed, and his life had meaning once again. He'd been about to hire a high-priced New York lawyer to fight Carly and Sonny for joint custody of a much older and more aware Michael when tragedy struck. The limousine Carly and Sonny had been riding in exploded. Sonny was killed instantly; Carly managed to hang on for a few days before her ultimate demise. The bedside confession she made to her mother changed a lot of people's lives forever, especially her son's. Michael Corinthos was really Tony Jones' son. Once Jason knew that Carly had signed a written confession, he told the affected parties, excluding Michael, how he had switched the test results at Carly's urging.  
  
If A.J. hadn't been in a good place in his life, he knew her confession would've sent him into a tailspin. Even on her deathbed, she made sure A.J. knew the only reason she said he was the boy's father was because she knew she would always win against him because he was such a pathetic loser.  
  
Once Sonny and Carly were gone, Jason and Courtney began to receive more and more death threats. They finally went into hiding. To this day, A.J. didn't know where they were. He had to admit they were becoming nothing more than a faded memory.  
  
He finally managed, with a lot of help from some good people, to put much of the past with all its hurts and disappointments behind him and had moved on with his life.  
  
Now, as he sat in the darkening room with a half-eaten steak on his plate, he wondered how different these past years might have been if, somewhere along the way, he had thought to contact Keesha. He also wondered what had caused her to be silent all these years if, indeed, the young lady he'd had contact with was his daughter.  
  
*~*  
  
After they'd each won a game of Scrabble, Julianna could tell her mother wanted to sleep.  
  
"I'm going to say goodnight," she said to Keesha. "I'll be in the living room watching TV. I won't have it loud."  
  
She kissed her mother's cheek and started to turn off her bedside lamp when Keesha stopped her.  
  
"I want to read for a little bit. I'll turn out the light later."  
  
Julianna nodded and after wishing her mother a restful sleep, she left the room.  
  
Once Keesha knew she was alone, she opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out the first draft of the letter she had written to A.J. She looked at the date and realized that he'd had plenty of time to receive it. The unexpected visitor at the door and the two mysterious phone calls Julianna had briskly taken care of made Keesha suspicious. While she knew she hadn't given A.J. her phone number, she had no doubt he could've found it in the directory or by calling information. She knew her daughter did not want to talk about her biological father, but Keesha needed and wanted to see him. After reading the letter one more time, she returned it to the drawer for safekeeping.  
  
With some difficulty, she managed to lay on her right side. She reached up and turned off the light. As she tried to get comfortable to go to sleep, only one thought occupied her mind.  
  
My time is running out, A.J., and it's imperative that I talk to you. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Good morning, Mama," Julianna said, as she walked in to her mother's room and pulled the shade halfway up the window to let in the early morning sunlight. "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Yes, I did. Did you?"  
  
Julianna turned to face her mother and nodded.  
  
"I can make pancakes for breakfast if you want."  
  
"I think I'll just have cereal and herbal tea. I need you to go to the store for me later."  
  
"Oh. Okay. Let me go prepare your breakfast."  
  
Julianna left the room, wondering how she could prevent A.J. from calling while she was out of the house. Short of unplugging the phones, Julianna was at a loss as to what to do.  
  
About to put the breakfast items on a tray to bring to Keesha's room, Julianna was surprised to find her mother standing behind her.  
  
"Mama! I didn't hear you."  
  
"Sorry, sweetie. I needed to get out of bed."  
  
"But do you feel okay? Sit down."  
  
She pulled out a chair and helped her mother to sit down. She placed the bowl of cereal and cup of hot tea on the table.  
  
"Sit with me and eat," Keesha said.  
  
Julianna grabbed an apple from the refrigerator and sat next to her mother.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Keesha asked.  
  
"Yes, Mama. Why?"  
  
"Last night while we were playing Scrabble, you seemed agitated like something was troubling you. I also noticed you frowned a lot. When I came in here, you were frowning again. Is something wrong, Julianna? If there is, I want you to tell me."  
  
"No," she said, not ready to tell her mother about A.J.'s visit and phone calls or to ask her why she had contacted him after all this time. "I'm just concerned about you."  
  
Keesha gently squeezed her daughter's hand. "I'm feeling better."  
  
"I'm so happy to hear that, but what about the next..."  
  
Julianna stopped. She knew how serious her mother's illness was. They'd discussed it, but that didn't mean she was ready to accept the inevitable.  
  
"The next what?" Keesha pressed, wanting her daughter to discuss her fears with her. "You know you can talk to me about anything, Julianna. I want you to."  
  
She nodded but didn't say any more. Instead, she bit into her apple and took her time chewing.  
  
"I understand you may not be ready to voice your concerns, but please don't withdraw from me," Keesha continued. "I want you to confide in me. Okay?"  
  
"Yes, Mama," she said, once she had swallowed. "I just...I need to sort out my thoughts. That's all."  
  
Keesha knew it was more than that, but she respected her daughter's words and didn't venture further.  
  
"I made a list of things I need at the store."  
  
"I was thinking about that. I can ask Shelly to go to the store for me. She won't mind."  
  
"No, Julianna." Keesha's voice was firm. "I want you to go to the store. You need to get out, get some fresh air. I'll be fine."  
  
"What if I ask Shelly to stay with you while I'm gone?"  
  
"Honey, I don't need anyone to stay with me. And just to prove it to you, my doubting darling daughter, I will rinse our dishes while you go get ready. Go on. While you're out, why don't you stop at 'Carla's Fashion Boutique' and see if you like any of her new outfits. Take your time. I'll be fine."  
  
Julianna realized her mother would not let her get out of going to the store, but there was no way she was making any unnecessary stops, even though that meant passing up a chance to peek into her favorite clothes store.  
  
*~*  
  
Sitting on her bed, Keesha shook her head and sighed. Getting her daughter out of the house had zapped most of what little energy she had. But she needed to have the house to herself. An idea had come to her in the middle of the night, and she knew she had to act on it. Reaching for the cordless phone she had insisted Julianna bring to her, she punched in the numbers for information and when the operator answered, Keesha asked for the phone number of the Hilton Hotel. She jotted the numbers down and thanked the woman.  
  
Keesha knew the Hilton Hotel wasn't too far from her house. If it had been A.J. at the door yesterday, maybe he was staying there? If he wasn't at the Hilton, she would try the next hotel and the next one until she'd exhausted them all. She thought about waiting for the phone or the doorbell to ring again, but she couldn't be certain it would happen. She needed to take action. Now.  
  
Please let him be staying at this hotel, she prayed silently, as she punched in the numbers she had written down.  
  
"Hilton Hotel. How may I help you?"  
  
"Is there an A.J. Quartermaine registered there?"  
  
"One moment. Let me check."  
  
She could hear the sound of typing on a keyboard while she hoped for the best.  
  
"Yes, there is. Would you like me to ring his room?"  
  
"Yes!" Keesha said, relief evident in her voice. "Please do."  
  
Now to cross the next hurdle: would he be there?  
  
Her question was answered on the second ring.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
Keesha's heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice.  
  
"A.J."  
  
It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"Keesha?!" A.J. sounded incredulous. "Is this really you?"  
  
"Yes," she said, relieved to have finally made the connection. "It's me."  
  
"How did you know I'm staying here?"  
  
"I didn't. I took a chance."  
  
"I received your letter and came as soon as I could. I've tried to contact you several times."  
  
"I thought so."  
  
"Keesha, I have to know. The young girl who answered the door and the phone. Is she...is she your daughter? Is she...*our* daughter?"  
  
"Yes," Keesha answered, her grip on the receiver tightening. "We need to talk, A.J. Soon."  
  
"I agree," A.J. said, his mind racing with questions he wanted answers to. NOW.  
  
"I'll talk to Julianna when she comes back from the store. I'll make her understand why I contacted you after all this time. I'll call you later today to come over."  
  
"Her name is Julianna. I like that. Very pretty."  
  
"Julianna Mae Ward," Keesha said, her heart and her voice filled with love.  
  
"I have a lot of questions, Keesha."  
  
"I know. I have answers for you, A.J. I do."  
  
"I'm staying by this phone. Please call me. Soon."  
  
"I will. I have to go now. I'm spent."  
  
He'd noticed her labored breathing and that her voice had grown weak.  
  
"Keesha, are you ill?"  
  
"Yes, A.J., I am."  
  
He struggled with his next question, but he had to ask. He had to know what he was dealing with so he could prepare himself to the best of his ability for what might lie ahead.  
  
"Keesha, are you...are you...dying?"  
  
"Yes," she answered, her voice breaking. "And I don't know how much time I have left." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Julianna returned and was surprised to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a cup of tea.  
  
"You should be resting in bed," she gently admonished.  
  
"I have been. I only got up a few minutes ago. After you put the groceries away, we need to have a serious talk."  
  
Julianna recognized her mother's set jaw and grim expression and swallowed her contradictory words. She knew, as fragile as her mother was lately, a fierce determination still remained. She feared "the talk" had something to do with A.J. Quartermaine and her behavior towards him, but she didn't voice those concerns. She simply acknowledged her mother's request with a nod.  
  
Julianna willed herself to remain calm as she told Keesha she was ready for their talk. She sat next to her mother and waited anxiously for her to begin. Keesha took a moment to brush her daughter's ebony locks away from her attractive face and gave her a wan smile.  
  
"I know this isn't going to be easy for you to hear, baby girl, but the time has come, and we must talk about it. You know I've contacted your father. He's been here, hasn't he? He's tried to call, too. Isn't that the truth, Julianna?"  
  
Julianna felt the heat rising to her cheeks as her lies were so methodically exposed by her mother. She did not dare continue in her deception.  
  
"Yes, Mama," she admitted ruefully. Then she rushed on. "But we don't need him. We don't!"  
  
"*I* need him, Julianna," Keesha stated. "Don't you see, sweetheart. I need to explain everything to him, and I need to see you and your father together. I've put this off for far too long. It has to happen, Julianna. It will happen."  
  
"What if I don't want to meet him?" she asked, tears of frustration and a sense of loss filling her eyes. "He never cared about us. He never tried to contact you! Why, Mama? Why do we have to let him into our lives? Cousin Justus and Dara will take of me, if it comes to that. You told me that! And they confirmed it!"  
  
"I know we all talked about that situation, but you need more than Justus and Dara. You need your father, baby. And he needs you, too."  
  
She squeezed her daughter's hands, her heart breaking at the anguish she saw on her lovely face.  
  
"Honey, you know why I need to do this. I'm not doing this to hurt you. I'm not. Cousin Justus talked to you about this not so very long ago. I'm not getting any better. We both know what's going to happen. A.J. is your father. It's time, way past time, that the two of you got to know one another. This has to be done, Julianna."  
  
"But Mama..."  
  
Keesha shook her heard.  
  
"This is happening, Julianna. No more slamming doors in his face or hanging up on him when he calls."  
  
The fifteen year old, who looked so much younger at that moment, turned her head away. Her mother knew everything.  
  
"Yes, I know what you did, and I know why you did it, but it won't happen again. A.J. is coming here tonight after supper. I expect you to be on your best behavior."  
  
She whipped her head around to stare at her mother. "Tonight?! But that's too soon!!" she cried.  
  
"No, Julianna," Keesha said, her voice filled with sadness and regret. "This meeting is happening fourteen years too late. I won't put it off another day."  
  
*~*  
  
After helping her mother get ready for A.J.'s visit, Julianna withdrew into the privacy of her room while Keesha rested.  
  
With fear and anxiety gripping her from every side, she couldn't sit still long enough to write in her journal, even though she had a million thoughts swimming through her mind that she wanted to get down on paper. Instead of writing, she turned on her computer and Web cam.  
  
"Please be there," she hoped out loud.  
  
She heard his voice through her speakers and despite how badly she was feeling, a small smile managed to escape from her thin lips.  
  
"Hello, Michael."  
  
"Hey, Jule. How's it goin'?"  
  
He was the only one she allowed to call her Jule. She didn't know why, except that she liked the way he said the name. It sounded, to her, as though he were calling her a "jewel".  
  
"Lousy," she admitted.  
  
He could see her scowl and told her to talk to him.  
  
"He's coming here," she said, without preamble. "Tonight. I hate this, Michael. I really hate this!"  
  
She never identified her father by name, but whenever she said "he", Michael knew she was talking about her father. They'd had an agreement from the very beginning that they wouldn't share their last names, places of residence or phone numbers. They wanted to keep things as simple as possible. Somehow, it worked for them.  
  
The teen-ager, with the reddish-brown hair and pale complexion, saw Julianna jump up from her chair and begin to pace the room as though she were looking for a way out. Which, he concluded, she probably was.  
  
"No escaping out the window," he teased, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
His efforts were rewarded with her sticking out her tongue at him.  
  
"O-kay. Talk to me, Jule," he encouraged.  
  
"He's coming, Michael. My father is coming here. Mere hours from now he will be in this house. How can I be civil to him? How?!"  
  
"Remember when I told you about my situation? Look how many fathers I've had. At least your mom didn't subject you to a bunch of different guys and tell you to call them 'uncle' or 'daddy'. Your mom wants you to know your true father, Jule. Is that *so* bad?"  
  
"I don't know," she answered and sniffled, hating it when her friend made sense. "I'm scared about what this means, Michael. I'm looking at the big picture here, and I don't like what it's showing me."  
  
"You mean about your mom's declining health?"  
  
"Yeah. I won't go with him, and he can't make me!"  
  
"Whoa, Jule. You are getting way ahead of yourself. I think your mom just wants the two of you to meet Get to know one another. I highly doubt your mom is ready to give you up or to give up on herself. Didn't you tell me she's a fighter? And a brave one at that?"  
  
"Yes, but you should see her, Michael. She's so frail. I know her liver is getting worse. I can see it."  
  
"Then, you know what, Jule? You need to help make this meeting go well. I'm sure your mother is agonizing over this. Help her. Okay?"  
  
"For being sixteen and male, how did you get to be so wise?"  
  
Michael laughed. She loved hearing it.  
  
"First of all, I'm almost seventeen."  
  
"Not until December 29th. Don't forget we share the same birth date. You're just a year older."  
  
"I'd never forget that. Isn't that one of the reasons we decided to chat?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, her voice softening. "It was. Along with the fact that we have only one parent."  
  
"That's right. You know my story, Jule. I lost my mom and every dad or uncle I thought I had. I live with my grandmother, but I've gotten to know my dad, my *real* dad, and he's an okay guy. If you give your father a chance, I bet you'll find out he's okay, too."  
  
"Promise me one thing?" she asked, knowing she had to sign off to prepare dinner.  
  
He gave her a crooked grin. "What?"  
  
"Be here late tonight. I have a feeling I'm going to need you."  
  
"I'll be here," he assured her. "I wish I could give you a hug. Know I'll be thinking of you, Jule."  
  
"Thank you," she said, and pressed two fingers against the camera where his lips were. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6   
  
With her stomach tied in knots, Julianna took two bites of her tuna salad and declared she couldn't eat any more. She covered the bowl and placed it on a shelf in the refrigerator. Keesha fared little better with her vegetable soup. She glanced at the wall clock and realized A.J. would be there in less than an hour.   
  
"Do we have anything to serve A.J. when he arrives?" Keesha asked.   
  
"I made a tray with salami, cheese and crackers," Julianna told her mom. "I also cut up some raw vegetables. There are some brownies left, too, that I baked yesterday."   
  
"That sounds wonderful. Thank you for doing all this work, sweetheart. I appreciate it. I guess we should put on a pot of coffee."   
  
"Okay. There's iced tea, too, if he drinks that."   
  
"Sounds like we're ready."   
  
Not really, Julianna wanted to say, but kept the thought to herself.   
  
"I'd like us to talk in the living room," Keesha continued. "I'm going to use my walker and head that way."   
  
Julianna nodded and watched to make sure her mother was steady on her feet before she began to measure the coffee grounds.   
  
*~*   
  
Taking her time, Keesha shuffled down the long, narrow, carpeted hallway to the front of the house, where the living room was located. Once she entered, she stopped to look around at her modest but comfortable furnishings. At one time, when she was healthier, this room had been her favorite. As she moved to her recliner, she recalled, with fondness, the evenings she had sat near the window and watched her young daughter play with her friends in the front yard. When Julianna got older, she entertained her mother by playing the piano and singing. The music, and her daughter's melodious voice, had allowed Keesha to recall sweet memories of her grandmother, Mary Mae.   
  
Keesha had also spent many hours, in her favorite chair with her feet propped up after a long day at the hospital, crocheting, reading a good book, or just letting her mind wander.   
  
Those were the times she let herself think about A.J., she realized now, as she tried to get comfortable in her chair, and had wondered whether or not she'd made the right decision in not telling him about his daughter. She had called him, several times, and each time she tried and failed to reach him because of one reason or another, her resolve grew stronger that she was better off not involving him in her life or the life of her daughter's. But, as she soon learned, fate had a way of stepping in and taking control. Her illness was definite proof of that.   
  
Her daughter's appearance in the room broke Keesha's reverie. She placed the serving tray onto the glass-topped coffee table and then turned on the two lamps that sat on either side of the light blue sofa. Even though there was still daylight, Julianna also turned on the porch light.   
  
"Thank you, baby."   
  
Julianna nodded. Taking a seat on the edge of the sofa, she jumped up every time an automobile whizzed by. When she heard a car slow down and saw that it was parked in front of their house, she peeked through the curtain and knew it was A.J.   
  
"He's here," she said, her voice solemn.   
  
"Open the door for him, please."   
  
"Yes, Mama."   
  
With nervous energy, Julianna opened the door and waited for A.J. to make his appearance. When she saw him climbing the few steps, she gasped in surprise. He carried two beautiful bouquets: one of yellow roses and one of yellow jonquils.   
  
"Hello," she greeted somberly when he reached her.   
  
"Hello, Julianna?"   
  
He said it as a question, as if he wasn't sure he should call her by her name.   
  
"Please come in," she said politely, if not stiffly, moving to one side so he could enter. "My mother is in the living room."   
  
A.J. stepped where Julianna motioned. Keesha saw the gorgeous flowers before she actually saw him. But A.J. had a clear view of Keesha. He'd tried to steel himself for what she might look like, but nothing could have prepared him for how bad she looked. His heart lurched, and any cross words or accusations he might have thrown at her melted away. Never heavy to begin with, she was sickly thin. Her face was drawn; the vibrant brown eyes he remembered nearly vacant. Yet, when she indicated for him to enter the room, he did see life in her, and for that he was grateful.   
  
"Hello, A.J.," she said, well aware that he had been taking inventory of her appearance.   
  
Her voice was softer, weaker, but still managed to get his attention.   
  
"Hello, Keesha," he returned.   
  
"The flowers are beautiful," she said. "Thank you. We'll leave them in here to enjoy while we talk."   
  
Taking her cue from her mother, Julianna arranged the two bouquets to sit on top of the black Steinway piano. She wanted to ask A.J. how he knew jonquils were her favorite flower, but one look at her mother's face, and she had her answer. He'd asked about her favorite things, Julianna realized, or her mother had told him. She vowed not to be affected.   
  
"Sit down on the couch," Keesha said.   
  
Her instructions were for both of them.   
  
Julianna let A.J. sit first, and then she purposely chose the opposite end. She sat perched on the edge, ready for a quick escape if need be, although with her mother's watchful eye on her, she knew she wouldn't be going far.   
  
"Are you hungry?" Keesha asked. "If so, help yourself."   
  
"No, thank you. I ate dinner at the hotel."   
  
"Would you like a cup of coffee?" Julianna asked.   
  
"Sure," A.J. said, turning to look at his daughter since she'd spoken directly to him. "That would be nice. Thank you."   
  
She asked because his answer gave her a chance to leave the room. Keesha told her to bring everything in the living room, and they would help themselves.   
  
"I look pretty bad, don't I?" Keesha finally asked.   
  
A.J. had not stopped frowning since he'd laid eyes on her. He shook his head.   
  
"I told myself you're not well, but Keesha..."   
  
"I know," she said. "But you, on the other hand, look wonderful."   
  
She appraised him and nodded approvingly.   
  
"I see some gray in your hair and a few more lines around your eyes, but other than that, you look good."   
  
"Thank you. May I...may I ask what happened to make you sick?"   
  
"Let's talk about that later. Right now, I'd like us to concentrate on Julianna."   
  
A.J. nodded. "She doesn't like me much, does she?"   
  
"She's holding some things against you," Keesha admitted. "If you could tell us about your life and the choices you've made these past years, maybe she'll begin to see you in a new light."   
  
"Does she...does she know about my past? About what I am?"   
  
"You mean, do I know you're an alcoholic?" Julianna challenged, returning to the room just as A.J. voiced his question.   
  
She added the Sterling silver tray with its contents to the coffee table and then turned to face her father.   
  
"Yes, A.J.," she said, fire blazing in her hazel eyes, "I know what you are. And it's just one of the many, many reasons I begged my mother not to involve you in our lives. We don't need you!"   
  
"Julianna!" Keesha severely admonished.   
  
"I'm sorry, Mama, but he asked the question!"   
  
"Can you let him explain about that? I told you he's sober now."   
  
"How would you know? You're not with him day in and day out. You don't know that he's not drinking."   
  
"If you had read any of the articles I've kept for you, Julianna, you would know the path your father's life has taken these past ten years. Please, A.J. Tell us about it."   
  
"I am an alcoholic, Julianna. Actually, I'm a recovering alcoholic. As your mother indicated, I've been sober for eleven years. Years ago, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, while under the influence of alcohol and while I was on the so-called wagon, but when I finally decided to get help, really get help, I became involved in a wonderful program. It literally changed my life."   
  
"What happened?" Julianna asked, not wanting to be interested but realizing she was. She had returned to her seat.   
  
Encouraged by her question and the fact she was actually looking at him, A.J. happily continued.   
  
"The program is in Manhattan. I moved there and have lived there ever since. 'Changes' is the name of the program, and it's a non-profit organization. When I saw how well 'Changes' worked and had been sober for a while, I started to think about expanding on its mission. With the help of a lot of good people, we developed a company called 'Goals, Achievements and Successes'. It's a program that gives people an opportunity once they've taken back control of their lives, no matter what they've been addicted to. There's a chapter in New York City and one in Port Charles. We're actually looking to set up a chapter here in Philadelphia."   
  
"I think the work you're doing is wonderful, A.J. You make the newspapers and some magazines quite often. I've saved all the articles, Julianna, if you would like to read them."   
  
"It's nice that you're helping all these people," she said, an anger building inside of her that she didn't know how to squelch, "but how is it that you never thought to find out how my mother was doing?!"   
  
Before A.J. could answer, Julianna ran from the room. With Keesha's permission, A.J. left in search of his daughter. Unfamiliar with his surroundings, he walked down the long hallway and heard muffled sounds. He followed them and found Julianna with her back to him, sobbing quietly as she rinsed the dishes at the kitchen sink.   
  
"Julianna?" he said her name tentatively.   
  
She didn't turn to look at him, but when she spoke, she sounded tired and drained. "Go away. Please. Just go away."   
  
"I don't think that's what your mother wants, and it's certainly not what I want. I know a bouquet of flowers and some measly explanation from me are not going to make the past fifteen years right, but we have to start somewhere, don't we?"   
  
"Why?" she asked, wiping at her eyes and then turning to look at him. "Are my mother and I your next challenge? Will you get written up in some newspaper or national magazine if you do something heroic for us? Spare me. Don't you get that I don't want anything to do with you?! Why can't you just leave me alone?!"   
  
With fresh tears spilling down her cheeks, she rushed past him and ran towards the living room.   
  
"Can we not talk any more tonight?" she asked Keesha. "Please."   
  
"All right," she conceded. "I am getting tired. But I'm going to ask A.J. to spend the night on the sofa. There's so much more we need to discuss."   
  
"You and A.J. talk tomorrow. Without me."   
  
"That's not possible. What we need to discuss is your future, Julianna."   
  
"I know my future, Mama," she said, as A.J. stood at the doorway, uncertain whether or not he should enter. "If I lose you, I'm going with Cousin Justus and Dara. I'm not going with him, Mama. I won't! And no one can make me! No one!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7   
  
A.J. spent most of the night lying wide awake on the sofa. He had no idea how to reach his daughter, and he still needed to find out what was wrong with Keesha. As the room began to lighten with the dawn of a new day, he heard rustling further down the hall, from the kitchen he believed, and decided to investigate. He discovered Keesha standing at the stove, with her walker, heating a pot of water.   
  
"Need some help?" he asked.   
  
She turned and offered him a seat at the table.   
  
"I felt like drinking a cup of tea. Care for one?"   
  
"Sure. I can do that if you'd like."   
  
"I need to do as much as I can for myself."   
  
"I understand."   
  
"Did you sleep?"   
  
"Not much," he admitted. "How about you?"   
  
"I did, but then again, I have medication that helps me."   
  
"Is it too early in the morning for you to talk about your illness?"   
  
Keesha nodded. "Later, A.J. Let's enjoy the quiet of the new day as we sip our tea."   
  
A.J. carried the cups to the table and helped Keesha into her chair before taking the seat next to her.   
  
"Can we talk about Julianna?" he asked, after they'd savored the lemon-flavored brew.   
  
"Of course."   
  
"She mentioned Justus and Dara. Do they know everything?"   
  
Keesha nodded. "Justus is my lawyer and my confidante. Dara is my confidante, too. It helps that they're married. It just makes things easier. Everything is spelled out in my Will, A.J. My stipulation is that you not be kept from Julianna nor she from you, but primary custody of Julianna will go to Justus and Dara. I had to protect my daughter. She needs to be with people she knows, trusts and loves when I'm...no longer...around."   
  
Keesha looked away as unwanted tears filled her eyes.   
  
"I understand," A.J. said, placing a gentle hand on Keesha's forearm.   
  
Grateful she didn't recoil from his touch, he continued. "I know you didn't have to include me at all. I have no excuse for never contacting you, Keesha."   
  
"You were drinking," she said, turning to look at him. But there was no accusation in her eyes. "I know that, A.J., because I called. Several times. I wouldn't have allowed you into my life or that of my daughter's had you continued to drink. Justus told me about your marriage to Carly and your marriage to Courtney whatever her last name is."   
  
"Morgan," A.J. supplied.   
  
When Keesha looked at him in surprise, he nodded.   
  
"Yes, as in Jason."   
  
The irony of that fact did not escape either of them.   
  
"Regardless," she continued, "once I knew about those marriages, keeping Julianna from you became easier and easier. I had just about given up on you completely, when I started seeing your name in the newspaper. I asked Justus to keep track of you again, and he confirmed your remarkable turnaround to me. I still had my doubts, but when I read about the wonderful outreach program you had started and the results it was producing, some of my hope returned. But by then, Julianna was old enough to voice an opinion on the matter of her father. And her opinion was that she wanted nothing whatsoever to do with you. I honored her wish until I got sick."   
  
"How did you get sick, Keesha?"   
  
She sighed as she stared into her tea cup. She knew, sooner or later, she had to talk about herself.   
  
"My father died shortly after I arrived in Philly. I mourned his loss deeply but, of course, I also discovered I had a new life growing inside me. I realized I had a chance to start over. To do or to be whatever I wanted. I felt a sense of freedom. As I said, I did try to contact you, but never succeeded in actually telling you who I was. I started to believe that was for the best. I mapped out a course for my life. I decided, after the birth of Julianna, that I wanted to be a nurse. I was fortunate. I was able to take a lot of the beginning courses at home, so I could be with my baby. At the college, I discovered there were other single moms doing the same thing I was. We networked to help each other study, to baby-sit our kids while we worked, or to just give one another a break if we needed it. With a lot of hard work, I made it through nursing school with my certificate.   
  
"I loved my job until I became infected by a drug user who fought with us in the hospital. My doctors thought they had caught it and treated it in time, but when I started not to feel well a few months ago, they ran more tests and discovered the infection had spread to my liver. They tried to treat it with drugs, but when I failed to improve, they informed me I'm now a candidate for a liver transplant. I'm on the waiting list for a donor, but so far..."   
  
"Wow, Keesha, I am so very sorry to hear this. I can't even begin to imagine what you and Julianna have been going through. But you know what? I have a lot of connections with various medical groups and organizations. Why don't you let me make a few phone calls to see if I can find a donor or at least get you moved up higher on the list?"   
  
"I appreciate what you're saying and what you're trying to do, but it's more complicated than that, A.J. I'm still undergoing tests. My doctors haven't given up on the medication I'm taking. It's a relatively new drug, but it has helped others like me."   
  
"That's fine, Keesha, but why not have all the help you can get? Later on, when the office in NYC is open, I'm going to call a few people who work for me. I just want to make some inquiries. Will you at least let me do that much? Please?"   
  
"Okay," she acquiesced, because she didn't have the energy to fight him. "But you have to know that my doctors *must* be involved in anything you may want to do."   
  
"I understand. I have a great staff, Keesha. A lot of names you would recognize from Port Charles work with me. I know they'll want to do this."   
  
"Please, A.J. Do not tell anybody this is for me. You have to promise me that."   
  
"I promise. I won't mention your name. I just want to help you and Julianna, if I can."   
  
Unbeknownst to Keesha and A.J., Julianna heard a good portion of their conversation when she noiselessly descended the staircase. She had to grudgingly admit that A.J. sounded as though he cared. His concern for their welfare, especially her mother's, seemed genuine. Doubts about how she'd been treating him began to surface. Could she have misjudged him? Was he there because he truly cared about them? Was he tryig to make amends for not being there for his mother when she'd needed him? Did he really want to help them with no ulterior motive, no need for recognition and fame? Did he just want to get to know her as his daughter? And the most important question, as far as Julianna was concerned, was would A.J. really be able to play a part in helping to keep her mother alive?   
  



End file.
